There’s this thing people do when I walk in their house for the first time. They panic-clean the counter with their sleeve or laugh nervously and say, “Sorry it’s such a mess. I’m just lazy.”
And I want to say: no, you’re not.
You’re tired. Or heartbroken. Or completely overwhelmed. Maybe all three. But you’re not lazy.
Most people don’t understand that being dirty isn’t the same as being lazy. I’ve cleaned homes for people going through chemo, raising three kids on their own, caring for parents with dementia, working two jobs, or trying to find the motivation to exist after a loss that split their life into Before and After.
Sometimes the mess is the only honest part of the whole house. And I see it—not with judgment, but with respect. You’re still here. That’s the hardest part.
There’s another thing most people don’t get about this job: cleaners see everything—but we don’t judge.
We see the unopened mail in the shoebox. The prescriptions taped inside kitchen cabinets. The bassinet in the hallway where there’s no baby. The worn spots on the floor where someone used to sit. The pets that outlived their people. The reminders of the life that used to happen in that space.
But when I grab my scrubber and start moving through your home, I’m not thinking about what’s wrong with you. I’m thinking about what’s still standing.
We’re not here to tally your failures. We’re here to make space for your next chapter.
Sometimes, the smallest gesture—a gentle, “No worries, we’ll tackle it together,” or leaving a room cleaner than you thought possible—can unravel years of shame someone’s been dragging around like a second skin.
I once watched a woman cry over her sink. Not because it was dirty—but because, for the first time in years, it wasn’t. And that one clean surface reminded her that maybe she wasn’t broken beyond repair either.
So if you’re reading this while surrounded by clutter, or shame, or silence, I just want you to know:
You’re not lazy. You’re human.
And humans get to start over—one drawer, one floor, one breath at a time.