Our stories are inspired by real-life experiences with our wonderfully unique clients. Why? Because some situations aren’t talked about enough and some lessons I’ve learned through my clients aren’t taught at all preemptively. I know this because if I had a penny for every time a client thought they were the only one going through something—feeling misunderstood, judged, or alone—I’d probably be rich enough to retire comfortably even if social security runs out of money and there’s nothing for my generation left. 😬😒

Let’s be honest: we’ve all argued with our vacuums and we’ve all been devalued or dehumanized by a jerk of a person. We just don’t like admitting it, especially the times we lost the argument.

But rest assured:

Details are changed. We add enough twists, turns, and over-the-top plots to ensure no one could ever identify you (or your Turbo).

Secrets stay safe.

If something funny, wild, or jaw-dropping happens on a job, we reshape the story into a tale where even you wouldn’t recognize yourself. Think of it as a privacy filter with a splash of absurdity.

Creative liberties are our specialty. We blend truth with just the right amount of the bizarre to keep everyone entertained while protecting your privacy. Yes, even Vortex’s and Turbo’s privacy are respected. Honestly, the real Turbo didn’t even recognize himself when he read it since he’s not vacuum per se but he does suck sometimes. Shh. Don’t tell. Vortex I think suspected. Since we used his real name but he can’t file a lawsuit or feel offended or feel anything really. Because he’s a vacuum and can’t talk and until inanimate objects become defined as sentient and worthy of rights under future laws, he’s not real.

So, if you ever find yourself in a story about a talking vacuum, a dramatic showdown with dust bunnies, or a suspiciously familiar grow room mishap, don’t worry—we’ve got your back. Your secrets are safe, and any resemblance to real people or situations is purely coincidental. (Mostly. Kind of.) Definitely fictional enough to make you laugh without making you blush.

Our goal is simple: to make people smile, feel less alone, and maybe even learn a cleaning hack or snag a coupon—not to embarrass or out anyone. Your trust is what keeps us sweeping (with a vacuum. F*** a broom) and storytelling, and we’d never trade that for a cheap laugh.

If you’ve got questions—or maybe a tall tale you’d like to share for inspiration—drop us a line! You can remain anonymous or let us link to your blog, website, or social media. Who knows? You might just inspire the next epic, completely anonymous story.

–Tera